Queen:  The Final Fantasy Album
by AmazonTurk
Summary: Freddie Mercury, please forgive me!  A collection of parodies of Queen's greatest hits, featuring mostly Sephiroth, Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz.  Featuring such hits as 'Jenovian Rhapsody', 'We Will Clone You' and 'We Are the Remnants'.
1. Track 1: Jenovian Rhapsody

_**A/N: I...don't...know.**_

**_Disclaimer: Squeenix owns the characters; Queen and the late, great, totally BITCHIN' Freddie Mercury own 'Bohemian Rhapsody', the song I have totally butchered. Enjoy!_**

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_**Kadaj**_  
_(in standard Freddie Mercury garb, complete with broken mic stand)_

Mama, just died again  
Seph's gotten in my head  
Cloud stabbed me, now I'm dead  
Mama, Reunion had just begun  
But now it's postponed because of rain  
Mama, ooo  
Didn't mean to make Loz cry  
But he'll be doing it again this time tomorrow  
Little bitch, Little bitch, playing with him never really matters

Too late, our Brother's come  
He's severed off my spine  
Loz's crying all the time  
Goodbye everybody - I've hate you all!  
Glad to leave you all behind, now here's the truth  
Mama, ooo - (anyway the Lifestream flows)  
I don't want to die  
I sometimes wish I'd never been cloned at all

_**Kadaj**_  
I see a little silhouetto of a box

_**Loz and Yazoo  
**_Is it Mom? Is it Mom? Kadaj, we must go an find her!

_**Kadaj**_  
I'll hit you all with lightning - everybody eyes on ME!  
Rufus ShinRa, Rufus ShinRa,  
Rufus ShinRa, Rufus ShinRa,

_**Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz**_  
Rufus ShinRa give us Mom! - We're EMO-O-O-O!

**_Kadaj_**  
But I'm just a poor clone and nobody loves me

**_Loz and Yazoo_**  
He's just a poor clone from our fucked family!  
Now he will summon this monstrosity!

**_Kadaj_**  
Easy come easy go - will you let our Mommy go?

**_Turks_**  
Sephiroth! No - we will not let her go!

**_Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz_**  
Let Mom go!

_**Turks**_  
Sephiroth! We will not let her go

**_Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz_**  
Let Mom go!

**_Turks_**  
Sephiroth! We will not let her go!

_**Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz**_  
Let Mom go!

_**Turks**_  
Will not let her go!

_**Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz**_  
Let Mom go!

**_Turks_**  
Never let her go!

_**Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz**_  
Let Mom go!  
Never let Mom go - ooo  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -

_**Kadaj**_  
Oh Rufus ShinRa, Rufus ShinRa, Rufus ShinRa let Mom go!

_**Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz**_  
That damn Cetra has a SOLDIER put aside for me  
for me  
for ME!

_**Kadaj**_  
So you think you can stab me and cut out my eye?  
So you think you can loathe me and cause me to die?  
Oh Brother- can't do this to me Brother!  
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah  
Look at all my feathers  
Anyone can see  
Look at all my feathers - look at all my feathers on me

Anyway the Lifestream flows...

_(gong)_

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_**A/N: Freddie Mercury will haunt me in my dreams for this one.**_


	2. Track 2: We Will Clone You

_**A/N: Yeah, so I was going over my reviews for 'Jenovian Rhapsody', and dantesdarkqueen said that she was more of a 'We Will Rock You' kinda girl. (evil grin) I do so love doing song parodies.**_

**_Disclaimer: Again, Squeenix owns the characters, Freddie Mercury and Queen own the song, I own the insanity of combining the two. BWAH HA HA!_**

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_Sephy, you're a boy make a pained noise  
Hanging here with Hojo in the damn labs all day  
You got cuts on your face  
It's such a damn waste  
Spreading your cells all over the place  
Singin'_

_We will we will clone you!  
We will we will clone you!_

_Sephy, you're a young man, strong man  
Screamin' to your Mother gonna take over the Planet some day  
You got blood on your face  
It's your best mate's  
Swingin' Masamune all over the place  
Singin'_

_We will we will clone you!  
We will we will clone you!_

_Sephy, you're a dead man bad man  
Fightin' with a blond man in the sky before it rains  
You got Cloud in your face  
Kadaj took your place  
Now you're shedding black feathers all over the place  
Singin'_

_We will we will clone you!  
We will we will clone you!  
We will we will clone you!  
We will we will clone you!_

_(Vincent takes out kick ass Fender and proceeds to RIP IT UP as masses of screaming fans cheer on the One-Winged Angel in all his godlike glory!)_

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**_A/N: I like the idea of Vincent jamming on a guitar. Turns me on. Review!_**


	3. Track 3: We Are the Remnants

**_A/N: You know, I think I'm going to end up doing an entire Queen album with these things!_**

**_Disclaimer: Squeenix owns the world, Queen owns the song, I own the insatiable desire to ruin both of them by combining the two masterpieces together in this mix of...ick. Enjoy!_**

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_I have no clue -  
Loz likes to rhyme -  
Yazoo's a princess  
He prances all the time -  
We're bad mistakes  
Hojo's a fool  
We've had our share of cells put in our flesh -  
But we are cool_

_We are the remnants - my friends  
And we'll still be sexy - till the end  
We are the remnants  
We are the remnants  
Scream all you fangirls  
'Cause we are the remnants - scream away_

_We've taken our blows  
And our booty calls -  
It's brought us pain and torture and much sexual fulfillment  
Loz likes Cloud's balls_

_But there have been several fics  
We're I've been abused  
I consider it an insult that because I'm a bit femme  
That I'm Sephiroth's uke!_

_We are the remnants - my friends  
And we'll still be sexy - till the end  
We are the remnants  
We are the remnants  
Scream all you fangirls  
'Cause we are the remnants - scream away_

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**_A/N: (snicker, snicker) I'm a very naughty girl. Reviews are welcomed...as always._**


	4. Track 4: Another Clone Bites the Dust

_**A/N: I surprised this has been getting such a pleasant response. So I'll continue until I get bored.**_

**_Disclaimer: Meh...not mine._**

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_Cloud walks wearily through the gate  
His hair spiked way up high  
Ain't no sound but the sound of his hate  
Buster Sword ready to fly_

_Is he ready? Is he ready for this?  
Is he ready for what's gonna go down?  
One more spotted gives an awful hiss  
Wearing a big black gown_

_Another clone bites the dust  
Another clone bites the dust  
And another clone gone  
And another clone gone  
Another clone bites the dust_

_How do you think he's going to get along  
Killing them one by one?  
Seph burned down everything that he had  
And told him he was a clone!  
Are you happy? Everything is fried!  
And nothing is as it seems  
One more spotted gives an awful hiss  
Time to stab till it screams_

_Another clone bites the dust  
Another clone bites the dust  
And another clone gone  
And another clone gone  
Another clone bites the dust_

Another clone bites the dust  
Another clone bites the dust  
Another clone bites the dust  
Another clone bites the dust

There are plenty of ways Cloud can kill a clone  
And beat him to the ground  
He can stab him  
He can slice him  
He can hurt him bad and leave him  
When he's down  
But Cloud's ready! Yes, he's ready for Seph!  
Standing with his friends at his back  
But there's a sitch we didn't expect  
Stupid Chocobo head thinks he's ZACK!

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**A/N: Heh heh...I like chocolate...and Zack. Review!**


	5. Track 5: Choc'bo Haired Boys

_**A/N: I LIVE!**_

**_Disclaimer: I am actually Nomura's Nobody. I am Manurox. Which is pronounced Manure Rocks. So I own Square Enix's Nobody which is Rexquas Nixex; and Final Fantasy VII's Nobody, Anlfix Xtasyfan XVII (Anal Fix Ecstacy Fan 17...ZOMG! I'm a fucking GENIUS!). I love the World That Never Was._**

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_Cloud, you gonna make us camp tonight?  
Ah, here beside Red's tail firelight?  
Are you gonna let us all hang out?  
Choc'bo haired boys, you make the pixeled world go round!_

_Hey, you scrawny little lad  
With your sword you think your bad  
But Yuffie could kick your ass just using her headband  
Standing right there next to Barret  
Cloud looks like a little ferret  
Puny hero, you're hair looks like a big ol' bird, Hey hey!_

_We've been traveling through this land  
Maybe we should form a band  
Instead of getting monster goo on all our clothes  
The money would be wicked  
And your hair looks like a chicken  
Cloud seriously? Why's your hair look so emo? Come ON!_

_Oh, don't you make us camp tonight  
Oh, here beside Red's tail firelight  
Oh, someone stole my stash of pot  
Choc'bo haired boys, you make the pixeled world go round!  
Choc'bo haired boys, you make the pixeled world go round!_

_Hey! Found some beer!  
Now our potions and our tents  
Aren't really worth a shit  
We've got mastered Cure and Esuna out the ass  
Oh, but we'll still find some more treasure  
And we'll take a lot of pleasure  
From choc'bo haired boys and their freakin' stupid hair!_

_Oh, don't you make us camp tonight (please?)  
Oh, here beside Red's tail firelight  
Oh, we're done with hanging out  
Choc'bo haired boys, you make the pixeled world go round!  
Choc'bo haired boys, you make the pixeled world go round!  
Get in your airships and fly!  
Chco'bo haired boys!  
Choc'bo haired boys!_

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**_A/N: Just so y'all know...I like Cloud. He's just REALLY fun to pick on. Review! Manurox...OUT!_**


	6. Track 6: Can't Stop Me Now

**_A/N: It's been awhile for this little guy._**

**_Freddie Mercury's Spirit Plasm: Listen, Love...you're totally butchering my songs..._**

**_AT: (hangs head in shame) I'm sorry, Freddie._**

**_FMSP: Don't be, Darlin'. I love it! Do me a favor and put in a song featuring my favorite bishie._**

**_AT: (beams) Who's that Freddie?_**

**_FMSP: Sephiroth. He's as fine a speciman as I've ever seen!_**

**_AT: Will do! (hugs FMSP) I love you!_**

**_FMSP: I love you, too, Love. Keep up the good work. (disappears to chorus of 'Mama's')_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the acid trip you just read. And the botched lyrics to another Queen great._**

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_Tonight I'm gonna kill myself a Cetran chick  
__I'm back to life and the Planet is collapsing on itself Yeah!  
__I know my voice brings you ecstasy  
__So don't stop me now don't stop me  
__'Cause I'm killing a pink girl killing a pink girl_

_I'm a One-Winged Angel lighting the skies_  
_Falling to the alter, bringing her mortality_  
_I'm a leather wearing god summoning Super Nova_  
_I'm gonna kill her dead_  
_There's no stopping me_

_I'm soaring through the skies Yeah!_  
_Two hundred enemies_  
_Yeah, they call me General Sephiroth_  
_Taking out the last of her kind  
__I'm gonna make a catatonic corpse of you_

_Can't stop me now I'm killing the Cetra  
__There's none left at all don't stop me now_  
_If you wanna try and stop me please don't try at all  
__Can't stop me now ('Cause I'm killing the Cetra)  
__Can't stop me now (Yes I'm killing the Cetra)  
__No you can't stop me at all_

_I'm a demi-god lighting up the stars  
__I'm your favorite main course_  
_I have a meteor, it's out of control  
__I am a death machine waiting to blow  
__Like a Weapon about to_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh implode_

_I'm soaring through the skies Yeah!_  
_Two hundred enemies_  
_Yeah, they call me General Sephiroth_  
_Taking out the last of her kind  
__I'm gonna make a catatonic corpse of you_

_Can't stop me can't stop me can't stop me_  
_Hey hey hey!_  
_Can't stop me can't stop me_  
_Mwah ha ha (I love it)  
__Can't stop me now I'm killing the Cetra_  
_Can't stop me can't stop me_  
_Mwah ha Alright  
__I'm soaring through the skies Yeah!  
__Two hundred enemies_  
_Yeah, they call me General Sephiroth_  
_Taking out the last of her kind  
__I'm gonna make a catatonic corpse of you_

_Can't stop me now I'm killing the Cetra  
__There's none left at all can't stop me now_  
_If you wanna try and stop me please don't try at all  
__Can't stop me now ('Cause I'm killing the Cetra)  
__Can't stop me now (Yes I'm killing the Cetra)  
__No you can't stop me at all_

_Mwah ha ha ha haaaa  
__Mwah ha ha ha_  
_Mwah ha haa haa haa haaa_  
_Mwah ha haa ha ha ha ha ha haaa DIE!..._

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**_A/N: Yeah....I don't know. I think teh maniac requested 'Don't Stop Me Now'. Hope you liked the butchering!_**


	7. Track 7: Some Body to Clone

_**A/N: I'm BAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!!! Sorta...just got a little FMSP Inspiration. Via American Idol of all things. Thank you worthless singers! By the way, in case you can't tell, this is Hojo. And it's really freakin' hilarious if you picture Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz singing back up.**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the insatiable desire to perform smash ups of Queen songs and Final Fantasy characters._**

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_Can anybody find me some body to clone?  
_  
_Each evening I come in and lurk a little_  
_Through the labs I stealthily creep_  
_Spare a glance at my research and cry_  
_Shiva, why can't these fools see?_  
_I have spent half my life in researching Her_  
_But I just can't get them to believe, Gods!_  
_Some body, any body_  
_Can anybody find me some body to clone?_

_I splice each cell in each speciman_  
_I try to make excellent clones_  
_Every day, every night ever working here, can't go home_  
_No god dares heed my plea_  
_And I can't get laid_  
_Lucrecia endlessly cries_  
_Oden - some body - any body_  
_Can anybody find me - some body to clone?_

_(He yells loud)_

_Everyday - I scream and I scream and I scream-_  
_But everybody wants to shoot me down_  
_They say I'm going crazy_  
_They say I'm psycho, cruel, unusual, insane_  
_Have no moral sense_  
_I have nobody left to deceive_  
_No - no no no_

_Ifrit_  
_Some body - any body_  
_Can anybody find me some body to clone?_

_There's no one, there's no speciman_  
_Worthless like dragonfly feet_  
_That's just great, this ain't right!_  
_I shall not, will not be beat!_  
_I will find that one perfect speciman and_  
_One day, they'll all worship me, YESSSSS!_

_Find me some body to clone!_  
_Can anybody find me some body to clone?!_

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_**A/N: (dies laughing at own stupidity and the fact that I ACTUALLY posted something!)**_


End file.
